I got into my first ever art show and sale last week. Ho hum. No big deal. I thought I’d be ecstatic, moved, grateful. I wasn’t. Maybe, I thought, if I went to the site, to photograph my works, I’d feel a little something. Nope. Nothing. I told my therapist this. She said, “Don’t you realize how far you’ve come? How much you’ve accomplished?” “Could you have imagined, a year ago, that your work would be publicly shared?” No. My therapist is big on taking stock, and I tend not to be, because I have, for decades, under valued my work and accomplishments, especially, in my recent artistic recovery.
Last year, I began drawing after a 30 year absence. I was one of those kids who drew for the school year book, won art prizes and painted murals. Why I stopped making art is complicated and something I”m still unpacking. Fears got something to do with it.
Now I draw almost every day and take it and this art show for granted. It’s hard to identify and uproot negative behavior even when you’re somebody who “should know better.” I need reminding to celebrate each move forward, no matter how “small,” and I bet you may too. Stop taking your and other people’s achievements for granted. Pat yourself on the back. A lot of hard, painful work, that cannot be measured, goes into reaching goals. Many of us toil in isolation with no support. So please celebrate your hard work, remember where you were a year ago and acknowledge what you’ve achieved. You deserve it!
